At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
