idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
