Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
