addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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