me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
