You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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