it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
