Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
