yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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