Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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