Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize