You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
we're so committed to being not committed
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
