So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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