Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
i now understand why vodka
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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