i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
