Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Randomize
