Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
His nipple licking is glorious
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