But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
