Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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