So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
