Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize