Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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