how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Randomize
