We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
