i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
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