i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
