i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
