Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
