Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
