dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I need to calm my uterus...
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
