gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Randomize
