Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
