the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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