Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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