You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
How external is "for external use only"?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize