last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
