What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
