Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
