What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize