We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
