I'm so fucking centered right now
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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