We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
