Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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