Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize