When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
