That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
