I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
