I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
