I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
