Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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