I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
We just shotgunned beers for America
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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