I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
