I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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