You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
