Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
