You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
My vagina is very pro this idea
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
