dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
