I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
