I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
