somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
