I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
