It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize