i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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