I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
