i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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