know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She's the barista slut.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
