How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
