he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
so let's talk penis.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize