I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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