idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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