You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Randomize
