I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
