This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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