these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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