1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
